'Trust me, you'll be sniggering to yourself so it might be best to not read this on public transport' Writer's Little Helper

It's said that everyone has a book inside them. Cal King doesn't have just one though; he's bursting with ideas for everything from children's books to (in his mind) prize-winning novels.

Unfortunately for Cal, his ideas are all a bit silly. However, refusing to be deterred by rejections from publishers and agents (or the laughter of his girlfriend) he managed to secure a meeting at a top publisher and arrived at their London offices with a head full of dreams and a folder full of concepts.

At the end of the meeting (during which the editor seemed to have the most terrible cough) it was gently suggested that Cal compile his pitches into a collection of 'terrible book ideas' for the joke book market. Slightly hurt by this suggestion, but driven by a desperate and all-consuming need for approval, he agreed. And here it is . . .